im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
