you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
