I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize