i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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