sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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