she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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