Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm at about main and main street
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
