We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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