dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
