I bet he comes in French.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
