thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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