Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
