i just made my gag reflex go away.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
