The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
