I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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