i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
