my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize