i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
