I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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