omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
