i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
