that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Alive.
So much puke
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
