drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
