You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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