i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
