His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
