Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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