i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
