the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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