I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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