he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
