And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
