It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
