dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
