I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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