margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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