also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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