just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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