Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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