need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
