you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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