So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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