Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
