How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
