There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
