are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
