So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Shame - the story of my life.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
