so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
