i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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