Me. At least after what I've been through.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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