I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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