Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
someone owes me an orgasm
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
