I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just threw up on my dentist
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
