I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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