ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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