well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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