First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
