It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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