I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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