Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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