Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
