i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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